First and foremost, when trying to attract a man you must look for any possible red flags that may indicate he is not into this whole relationship thing.
In most cases, relationships take a while to develop but the spark of the whole idea is usually present in the beginning stages of dating.
For an initial first date, a woman always wants to show her true self. If she acts like something she really is not, just to impress the man, it is most likely to backfire later on.
What I mean about this, is that she never wants to lie to make herself look better. This will only lead to more lies, become frustrating, and waste much needed energy on trying to save something that was never meant to be.
If a woman is trying to pretend she is interested in her dates hobbies, only to attract him and gain his approval, she is not only lying to impress him, but she is also showing that she is not confident about herself and her own interests.
Believe me when I say this, men do not like women who are not confident about themselves. They enjoy a woman who is down to earth, confident about their life and appearance, and confident that they really don’t need a man to make them happy.
It seems odd, but most of my male friends like challenges and mysteries a girl may have to offer.
Although men often date women in hopes that it will be a one time deal, in the long run men envision that they will eventually settle down in a relationship when they find what they are looking for.
What exactly are they looking for? This answer still remains unknown to many, however, in most cases it is obvious to see what men aren’t looking for in terms of starting a relationship.
One of the biggest rules, and many males have agreed with me, is never to kiss a man on the first date. Men tend to look at this as a challenge, and feel that if she were to kiss him on the first date then that probably means she kisses every other man of the first date, as well.
This is definitely not the kind of woman a man wants to spend time with, for the long haul. Some women have maintained a relationship while kissing on the first date, however, it is rare.
Another rule of the thumb, and very annoying at the least are those women who constantly talk about their past relationships and ex-boyfriends. In the getting-to-know-each-other stages, a man wants to learn about you, not the ex-boyfriend you desperately hate, but secretly love.
It tends not to be a secret anymore, because trust me, your date actually is smarter than you think and can easily figure out he is on the rebound.
It also makes a woman seem vulnerable to any kind of love, which in some cases is an advantage to the man, leaving him in control and winning the game of hard-to-get. Believe me when I tell you, from my own experiences, ex-boyfriend talk is the biggest turn off in a new relationship.
Ahh, and then there is the phone call. Instead of waiting for him to call, do something more constructive with your time or simply give him a call yourself.
Generally, men think there is a rule about calling a woman despite the good times they may have had the day before. There are two ways to handle a situation like this.
You can be the bold, confident woman and initiate the first call. If a man is in a hurry to get off the phone then take the hint; he probably isn’t in to you.
My best advice is to leave it at that and maybe he will eventually come around. If you continuously call him, he may think your desperate, needy, and basically crazy since he thought he already gave you the hint that he does not really want another date.
Another way to handle the situation is to wait for his call but don’t give up your daily activities in doing so. Give it a couple days.
If he calls you, then most likely he is interested in pursuing another date, if he doesn’t call then simply go on with your life…there are many other men that will respect you if you let them.
If you run into him at a later date, remember he was only a friend to begin with, so treat him just as that. Do not act bitter and mad, this will only prove his theory that you “actually” may be desperate and crazy.
Let’s just say that you make it past the phone call stages, and things are becoming a little more serious. You two seem to seeing each other regularly, passed the stages of that first kiss, and feel yourself spending several days of the week together.
If he chooses his friends, continuously over you, then he probably still isn’t ready to commit.
If it is an occasional thing for him to spend time with his friends then that is definitely OK. You can’t expect him to spend every minute of the day with you.
Men need to gradually put themselves into a relationship and often have fears of long term commitments. If this is a person that you are going to spend a long time with then remember that you have plenty of times ahead to hang out with one another.
Never pull out the jealousy card in the beginning stages or any stage of a relationship. This is an annoying habit that once again shows that you are insecure and obsessive.
Sometimes, as women, we find it flattering when our mates get jealous. Sometimes we even try to provoke jealousy, and later find out it can be very dangerous.
Men, on the other hand, classify jealousy as being a crazy behavior and feel you cannot trust them. Believe it or not, men want women’s trust when they are serious about a commitment.
My last piece of advice is to make sure a man treats you good. If he doesn’t, from the beginning, this can be a major red flag. Usually, humans are kinder in the beginning of friendships and relationships.
If your date immediately comes off as controlling and arrogant then he simply is not the one for you. Don’t try to change his ways because it probably will not work. You will be wasting time that could have been spent on meeting that other “perfect” someone.
If you continue to try and make things work, I can assure you they probably will only get worse. Men will pick up on the fact that you are easily controlled which in turn can lead to a lot of heartache and misery.
Get out while you can! Treat a man you are into just like any other person or family member. You want a relationship that is pure and solid, not one you have to work to hard for.
If you have to work to hard just to make a man fall in love, then imagine how hard you are going to have to work to keep the relationship going.
A loved one will want to be with you for who you are not for the tactics you use to try to get them to love you. That is not your job. He has to naturally have the feelings to want to be with you.
Try to avoid turn-off factors, identify red flags, and simply show him the real you. If you score positive marks in these three categories, then you know you are putting yourself in a two sided relationship with two people who genuinely care about one another.