What Makes it Work
Flirting is a major ingredient in any romantic relationship. Most people over the age of 12 know how to flirt to a certain degree, either from reading Novels, or watching movies or TV.
But we all know flirting doesn’t always produce the desired effect, nor does it always result in the desired outcome. In fact, sometimes flirting can be downright disastrous.
So, what makes flirting work? How does one flirt successfully? First you must be an attractive person. By this I don’t mean you have to be a dramatic actor or actress like Denzel Washington or Shanaa Lathan, nor do you have to be a balladeer like John Legend or a songstress like Alicia Keys, nor do you have to excel at sports like Tiger Woods or Serena Williams.
No, just be your own charming self. Each of us has some attractive qualities, we just have to learn how to portray them in the best light before we attempt to flirt with a potential ‘Mr. or Ms. Right’.
Next, relax and feel confident about yourself. Its hard to be attracted to a person with low self-esteem. When you are well-groomed and dressed to suit your personality, when you are well-rested and refreshed, when you are comfortable in your career, you tend to feel more attractive, and this increases your self-esteem.
(You might not be able to do anything about your career, but that can be dealt with later). Its alright to be humble, just make sure you exude the right amount of confidence so your ‘intended’ is not ‘turned off’.
You could start by being ‘friendly’ with your potential mate. Make eye contact and smile. You might decide to stare briefly, then look away. Repeat this ‘glancing’ technique as often as you like. This is usually very effective, and attractive.
If you’re bold and courageous enough, you might make ‘goo-goo’ eyes at the person, or if you’re a man you might try raising your eyebrows or winking or even nodding at the woman. If you are close enough to the person, you might even say ‘hello’ or ‘hi’.
By all means make sure your smile is genuine and bright, so that your ‘intended’ knows you are approachable. Invite the person into your circle, ‘so to speak’, by letting them know ‘I’m interested in you’, or ‘I find you attractive’ or ‘I’d like to get better acquainted’.
You could follow this up with a bit of ‘small talk’; discuss anything you like (current events, news, films, books, movies, TV, finances, government affairs, sports, gossip, or even the weather), anything to evoke good conversation. If the person is the least bit interested, they will definitely respond.
Another effective flirtatious ploy is to compliment your potential mate. You could say something like, ‘I like your hair’ or ‘You have such lovely or pretty or beautiful eyes’, or ‘That’s a gorgeous dress you’re wearing’. (Of course this is from a man to a woman).
If you’re a woman approaching a man, you might say something like, ‘You look good’, or ‘I love your cologne, what scent are you wearing’, or ‘I like your shirt’, or ‘I love your tie’.
A ‘line’ that works well for both sexes is, ‘I like your smile’. Everyone likes to be complimented, it makes us feel good about ourselves, especially if our day is not going quite the way we’d like.
Things are going well, you have the person ‘hooked’. Now its time to move in for ‘the kill’. Say something ‘witty’ about the subject you were just discussing. If possible, make the person laugh. Even if you never see the person again, sharing a laugh or two relaxes you both.
Humor and wit are very important elements of flirting. Without these elements, we’re all just dull, boring individuals. Applying the right amount of humor and wit can brighten anyone’s day, and increase your chances of ‘scoring’ with your ‘intended’.
A ‘perfect score’ just might conclude with a man asking for the woman’s phone number, or the woman voluntarily giving it to him. Another ‘perfect score’ might be the result of a woman’s acceptance of the man asking her out for a drink (doesn’t have to be alcohol, could be coffee), or some other ‘let’s get better acquainted’ date.
The above are just a few starting points regarding ‘flirting’. Here are some more. If you are a woman in a store, you might ‘accidentally’ knock something off the shelf onto the floor, and if a man picks it up, that could be a conversation starter.
Or, if you are a short woman who can’t reach something on a shelf, and a ‘tall’ man is near by, you might approach him to request he reach the item for you. Be sure to smile and ‘thank’ him for his kindness. Men love this!
If you are a man at a party and you notice a woman standing by a punch bowl or water fountain, you might offer her a drink. If she accepts, go a step further by ‘getting’ the drink for her. This is one of my favorite flirtatious ploys, and take it from me, gentlemen, women love this!
When a man offers me a drink, I am immediately ‘turned on’ and expectant for whatever might come next. This is especially true when he accompanies his ‘drink getting’ gesture by ‘brushing’ my hand and staring into my eyes.
Another effective flirtatious ploy is the ‘fight’ or ‘argument’. Of course, if you are already a couple, you know that when dating, ‘fighting’ heats things up and makes things more interesting.
By this I mean, ‘play’ fighting. Pretend you are in disagreement with your significant other, about anything! The good news is, you both know the ‘fight’ or ‘argument’ is pretentious, and that can prolong or enhance your romance, making it even more special.
You might fight over his suit or shirt or tie, or her dress or her hair or the type of entrees you ordered or current events or anything else. ‘Physical’ fighting is good too, just don’t over do it so that the ‘fight’ doesn’t become too real or too personal.
If it does your relationship might be headed for serious trouble. However, there is another way to look at this scenario. In the event that the ‘fight’ gets serious, there is always the joy of ‘making up’.
How do you do this? A simple apology is not enough. Take your significant other out on a romantic date, or buy them a special gift (should be something you know they’d love to receive), or surprise them with some other special treat or in some other special way.
Do anything and everything to make the person feel ‘loved’ and ‘appreciated’. As a couple you already know what he or she likes, so build on that and take it from there.
It goes without saying that affection (hugging, kissing, fondling, touching, and holding hands) are excellent ‘make-up’ tools, so employ these techniques whenever the mood strikes!
And, last but not least on my list of favorite flirtatious ploys is the act of sharing. Couples should share anything they’d like with their significant others. You might try working on a project together.
It is not necessary to always agree with your significant other’s ideas, just be lenient and accepting so that you come to some kind of compliance and your project is not jeopardized. Also, share meals together. ‘Feed’ each other, whenever possible. This is an intimate affair and recommended for all couples.
Flirting, when done the right way, can be very enjoyable, regardless of the outcome. So, the next time you are attracted to a person, try ‘flirting’ on for size. You can’t go wrong if you employ the right techniques. If you are a little shy, first try a ‘practice’ flirt with a friend.
Be sure to use a line or approach that feels comfortable to you and one that is unique to your personality. Then, go ahead and give it a whirl, after all what have you got to lose? A little dignity maybe, but your efforts are sure to pay off with the right person.
Top 5 Flirting Tips For Women
1. Compliment him
Make sure your compliments are true though, making up compliments just so you can talk to him is the wrong thing to do. Compliment him on the things that you really do like about him and he will know that you are sincere.
2. Make eye contact
Your eyes are the most effective tool that you have for flirting. You can make a man’s heart skip a beat by giving him a look, be it playful, lusty, or a lingering stare.
Here’s how. Give him a 2 or 3 second stare, then slowly look away. Slow is very important here. Smile as you start to turn you head away. He will get your message.
3. Flip or twirl your hair
If you want to get a mans attention, flip your hair casually, twist it and then untwist it, tuck your hair behind your ear, or run your hand through it.
4. Give him a soft giggle and smile
According to all of my male buds, a laugh and a smile are the sexiest thing that a woman can wear. Try perfecting your smile and laugh so they are seductive and sweet, if you do this, you will have amazing results. Practice a fake smile and laugh also, this can help you through those awkward moments.
5. Touch him!
You can casually tap him on the leg or arm while laughing, or lean your head onto his shoulder if you are tired, you can also hold his hand if you are scared or nervous. This will give him a sense of manliness, and you get to touch him.