Should you or should you not send that message? If you have to ask then read this!

Technology has made our lives easier and with respect to meeting people for a date, it’s been a boon in some ways while massively frustrating in others. Online dating is a completely different landscape. You’re being judged every second on any number of critera.

So when it comes first impressions, first messages are your best chance to make a great first impression. That said, here are a few tips on what NOT to message:

  • The short “Hey” “Hi” or “How are you doing?”

    And any derivative of that. A girl immediately views this as a very typical and conventional conversation starter. Think about it. Out of all the things you could talk about in a profile that she put out, you decided to completely ignore everything (not intentionally) and take the easy cop-out of a message (she perceives). If you don’t take the time to start out strong, how are you going to expect that you’re going to catch a girl’s attention as strong?

  • The overly lengthy message.

    On the other side of the spectrum, you don’t want to refer to her profile as exceedingly either. There’s a fine line between enthusiastically interested and creepy.

  • Anything that sounds remotely like a mass text.

    Sounds like, “Hey__, I looked at your profile and it looked amazing. I’m ___ from ___. I like to __ & __. I would love to get to know you better.” (You know what I’m talking about…The ones you ‘copy and paste’ & sent to 15 girls all at once).

  • Pick-up lines.

    Pickup lines can be cute. However, this approach exists on a very unforgiving spectrum. So avoid any pick-up lines that involve your mini-man friend and any of his pals. Just stop it!

  • Request for more pictures.

    This will turn off a girl immediately. Just stop it.

  • Anything that emphasizes ONLY HER LOOKS.

    See it’s all about individuality (or portrayal of it). Compliment her appearance AND something about her personality, hobbies, etc that you GENUINELY appreciate.

  • Second, third messages.

    Better to wait it out then send another text. There have been plenty of times that my lingering desire of replying to a guy quickly evaporated. Because he could. Not. Wait.

  • Resumes or paraphrases of resumes.

    This can be perceived as overcompensation in that your appeal rests on credentials. That’s great and all but it can be a little showy. Display your more universal and dimensional appeals: humor, wit, and charm.

If you follow these guidelines, chaps, even if you don’t score an immediate date, you’ll at least be able to maintain a conversation online and not be rejected from the onset.